A Bloodless Coup

3 04 2009


Much like the coup d’etat of Pakistan by Pervez Musharraf in October of 1999, I found myself in a similar precarious position last evening at Laser Quest, hanging with my homeslice on his 13th birthday. I tend to forget that my typical strategy for recruiting kids to form a squad does not work at 9:00 at night when it’s all teenagers. So…after Coleman and I went into the laser tag arena…I lost him almost immediately. Here’s me, ducking shots, holding walls, tumbling through entrance ways, and generally trying not to get tagged too much…I find myself on the upper mezzanine trying to accomplish 2 things: gain the trust of the teenagers up there who have already formed thier teams, and trying to locate Coleman while being sniped from a position down below. Several times. Once I finally thought that I had the trust and confidence of about 6 or 7 lanky teens on the mezzanine…they turn on me. I say bloodless because in laser tag…there is no actual pain…just the pain of getting your ass kicked by all those discretionary beams. Needless to say, I made a very quick decision to make my way downstairs. Upon doing so, drenched in my own sweat, shoulder still sore from an unfortunate incident the previous evening involving an intoxicated Qubecois, I locate that little f-ing sniper who tagged me so many times while I was upstairs. It was Coleman. Here he is…cool as a cucumber, picking off random players left and right while I’m doing my best Jack Bauer impersonation and getting my ass handed to me. He came in 2nd place. I’m not going to say what my score was. Well done buddy…I taught you well!




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